FRIEND FRIDAY | TESSA CARBONE

I'm honored to announce that I am featuring my sister, Tessa, as my next Friend Friday! I know her VERY WELL... we practically lived in the same few hundred square feet of each other for 18 years! We have seen a lot of life come and go between the two of us.

I could not be more proud of her today as she shares her testimony with you! I've walked this tough road with her and have been able to witness God mold her into a beautiful young woman.

Nothing is more rewarding than when you get to see prayers that you have prayed become answered prayers right before your eyes. It is a gift from God and I can't thank Him enough for it.

One of Tessa's gifts is word's of affirmation. It's how she gives and receives love. And since the enemy is out to kill, steal, and destroy us... he decided to use words to kill her with. By killing her mind with lies and false words, she then believed them and allowed her world and influences to match what she believed.

Tessa, you have such a calling on your life. I can't wait to see how God uses you to change the world :).

This is my story.

I was born on a Saturday. July 28th, 1990.

I imagine it was a glorious and amazing day for I. HAD. ARRIVED. My mom and dad so blessed to have been gifted with me as their child! Little did they know what they were in store for. I'm the 3rd in line, but always the first complain. This was made known to me. A lot.

Growing up I seemed to look at things from a darker point of view, glass half empty kind of girl, if you will. I didn't realize this about myself. I was blinded, clouded by the enemy. Negativity turned to teenage rebellion, teenage rebellion turned to adult addiction and I found myself in a deep, dark pit. Years later I was still using.

Immersed in a full blown dysfunctional relationship is when I found out about her... I was pregnant.

"What?? So soon?!?"

You see... He wanted a baby, and I wanted to please him but that positive test brought a wave of fear, shame, and regret. "What will my family say? My mom will be so ashamed of me". Weeks then turned into months and I continued to grow.

We then found out we were having a girl! Wow, a girl. Things began to come together. Around this same time I started to hear this voice say to me, "but who is going to teach her about Jesus?".

Over, and over it would echo in my mind. Now, understand, God was someone I believed in but that's about as far as that went. I knew I needed to do something so I started attending bible study with my sister. God was definitely on the move. He was drawing me in, drawing me near. I didn't even recognize it at first. I began to experience a curiousity and longing for Him.

I approached the end of my pregnancy with a new attitude. My sister poured into me, she was obedient. She loved me. She really loved me. I could see Jesus in her and I wanted that light in me and shining out of me too. My fiancé, however, did not like the change going on in me.

Then it happened... River Lee Carbone made her debut. My world was forever changed. This was it. This was the moment I knew things would never be the same. We took this tiny baby home, very excited for the future. Then depression set in and my fiance pulled away. Lies became second nature from his mouth.

In the midst of this troubled time, we decided to get married. He became even more distant, strange, and violent. It was scary. I kept thinking, "this is not ok, we are not safe". Then the moment came when I knew I needed to make a choice. I decided to leave.

The fear of the threat, "If you leave, I will kill you" loomed in my mind but my love for my daughter outweighed my fear in that moment. I waited for him to go to work the next day and then I heard a voice in my head, "go". I started to pack. I heard the voice again and I stopped packing, grabbed River, and went.

He came home 5 minutes later and was irate.

"WHERE ARE YOU?!?. COME HOME NOW!" I didn't. I chose to walk away. 4 months of marriage. Short lived, but so painful it was.

That was over a year ago and so much change has happened in such a short time. I now know and believe that God is real. He is constantly talking to me. I am perfectly imperfect. That's me. That is the word God gave me. Perfectly imperfect. And I'm so blessed to have been given the opportunity to go to school because of a financial sacrifice from my parents.

I get to make people feel beautiful for a living! I get to pour into people on a daily basis. Declaring, praying over these women, men, and children. I get to use my gifts every single day!

It took me a long time to realize that I get to further God's kingdom everyday simply by my actions and by my love. No matter the circumstances, no matter the scars, (because trust me I have many) He loves me past it. So far past it, that it becomes invisible.

As I sit here and write this I can feel God pouring his love directly onto my head, as it rushes over me I am overwhelmed with emotion. God, who am I that you would care so much? Love me so much?

He says to me, "You are my child. My love for you is unending." Wow. My choices in life, because of my disobedience, have been forgiven and turned and used to glorify God's HOLY name. Isn't that amazing?

Satan tried to mark me for destruction but God just smiled and said, "No, she belongs to me."

I am not rejected. I am not worthless. I am not ugly. I am a child of God.

#friendfriday